Well, you're going wrong here right from the gitgo.
However, I won't give my reasons now, since Tiger may turn out to be in your camp with next week's question. We'll see then.
So let's just consider another question:
Have there ever been any professional front court players who simply never take the serve under any conditions? If so, why wouldn't that flip the advantage to the server because he could treat it like a singles game and pressure the back court receiver with his biggest serve?